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Do you sometimes think your loved one should know you so well that they should be able to just know what you need at all times? 

While that would be nice, that’s not how relationships work. In any relationship, whether with your partner, friend, or family member, it’s important to ask for what you want and need. Now, we’re not talking about making unfair demands on someone or asking for something beyond what your loved one can offer. 

Think of it this way: if you need more alone time and would just like an hour or two to yourself in the evening without your partner, tell them. If you want to spend some quality time with your friend because you haven’t really been connecting lately, tell them. If you need your parents to offer a little more tangible support because you’re going through a tough time, tell them. 

When we communicate our needs to the people we love, we set reasonable expectations for them to meet. However, when we don’t communicate our needs, we set unfair and unrealistic expectations. No one is a mind reader, and no matter how well you know each other, if you don’t vocalise what you need, things will get missed. Communicating your needs isn’t selfish, it actually serves your relationship and makes it stronger. It will also set a good example for your partner, friend, family member, etc. so they can learn how to communicate their needs too.

 

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